#fear

Midnight Ramblings
At first, the google engineer cheered, knowing he or she had contributed to the world. It felt good knowing their contribution would save eons of man years of productivity that would have otherwise been wasted. They gladly marked their name down in wikipedia right beside bill gates. (more…)
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The Coder Diet

Midnight Ramblings
A college friend of mine randomly decided that nutritional guidelines were bullshit. At the time, he was deliriously lost in a pipe dream of being rich before 30. This may or may not have been the same time frame when he bought a house in California and rented it out to too many roommates at once. The theory was, California real estate value was only going upward - so buy, have some other fools pay the mortgage, and then sell for complete profit. My friend was the extremely frugal sort, and a nerd, like myself. He examined his RichBy30.xls spreadsheet and tried to cut as many corners as he could expense wise. One evening, knee-deep in RichBy30.xls data, my friend decided he didn't believe in nutritional advice - all his…
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Act 2: The Surveillance State as Public Utility

Midnight Ramblings
A friend confides in me that they don't feel as if their job is a 'career', because they didn't need a degree for the career path they've been on for nearly 15 years. No degree, not management, not 'career'. I respond that if a career means endless promotion resulting in management positions, then I never want to have a career. --- Early 2003. I've recently broken up with a long time girlfriend, feeling as if I've been asleep for the previous four years of life - missing everything important. I sit in a daze, watching our country invade the middle east with non-stop televised live footage of the war at hand, this is a first. "Shock and Awe", indeed. I've been listening to a lot of the Matthew Good solo…
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Erosion of Privacy

Midnight Ramblings
See, this is why the erosion of privacy and data convergence worry me. Sometime in the future, I will skype video conference my doctor for my yearly physical. It will be convenient, because I won't have to wait in a waiting room for an hour for my appointment. Bonus: No blood draws or treadmill tests, because my fitbit 5000 health tracker gizmo will tell my physician everything she needs to know. My doctor will inquire about my health, and I will, as always, say everything is fine. Unsatisfied, my doctor will grill me with further questions, testing my lying skills from differing angles. I will, as always, masterfully weave a magnificent tale of 'truth' about how healthy I've been eating and how I exercise all the time (thinking about exercise…
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Minecraft – A Software Engineer’s Experience Part 3

Life and Philosophy, Midnight Ramblings
You should start at the beginning: Minecraft – A Software Engineer’s Experience Part 1 I started playing Minecraft early this past August. What started as an innocent and fascinating experience in a "real world" simulator eventually took a turn. I spent about a month happy as could be with an extremely limited world view: break down the rocks, harvest the garden, live on, break some more rocks, enjoy the sunset, fish, repeat tomorrow. Then Andy's friends joined, right around the time I realized the Minecraft world is in actuality more like the real world than we'd care to admit: It's a massive massive expansive world with limited resources, but more than enough resources to last several real-life lifetimes of gameplay. What's more, the "world" we played in was shared by…
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Cats and Dogs

Life and Philosophy, Midnight Ramblings
My wife is a cat person. I am a dog person. I do not understand why my wife is a cat person. Why be a cat person, right? Cats are neurotic, fiercely independent, super picky, indifferent to your existence, jerkface assholes. Agreed? Good. Dogs on the other hand are sweet, pleasant and so damn simple. The end. I despise cats. I wouldn't say I hate them, but I passionately dislike them at times. --- When we got married, we had a 5 year plan to get a dog that delivered in about 1 year. I fell in love with our dog in two seconds and that was that. Amanda took longer to come around. She liked the dog, the dog was cute, or whatever, but she didn't LOVE the dog…
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The Fall From Grace (Life & Career Lessons, 2013)

Life and Philosophy, Midnight Ramblings
2013, for me, sucked. The overly-simplistic way to summarize would be to say that I simply made a bad career move. It's more than that, though. The person I had become leading into 2013 was not who I want to be - to be clear, I did not say it's not who I wanted to be, rather, who I was aiming for becoming is no longer who I wish to be. For me, if nothing else, that's the main takeaway from 2013: people can (and do) change who they are and who they want to be - and that's ok, it happens. The trick is remembering how much impact our choices can affect others. --- It's as if I've come full circle - a few years ago I left a…
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Creative Bankruptcy

Life and Philosophy, Midnight Ramblings
Commiting to a rambling blog entry at 7a without sleep is always a good place to start. Music: Matthew Good - Non Populous TLDR: When it feels topsy-turvy, it's time for a break. It's okay to take a break. Thursday, August 22: "Man, this stuff + work drama makes me so want to quit all of this crap. ever feel that way?" .. "Yes." I spent a large part of the year working on a half-dozen personal projects in my spare time, enjoying myself quite a bit - until I didn't. I could have been stretching myself too thin, it could have been that my latest career move was a bad one, it could have been that the projects I'd kicked out earlier in the year didn't bring results, it…
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When the room spins

Midnight Ramblings
I was young, but not so young as to not remember, perhaps 8. It was early evening, but felt like dawn. I clung for dear life, at the edge of my bed, as the room spinned and spiraled around me. Slowly, methodically, I made my way through ice cubes, mouthing one after another, willing the room to stand still. Sometime minutes or hours later, mother opened the door to check my fever - clearly still going strong. I beg her to make the room stop spinning. I cry in confusion, unable to grasp the edge of the bed strong enough to put the world back in place. Mother frowns at another thermometer read over 100 degrees, and tells me I need some rest. She explains the spinning room in terms…
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